Hosted A Massive House Party! Pictures Soon.

The (non-)P.C. Post

London is diverse. The harmony of various cultures operate together is intriguing. I wouldn't say it's assimilation per se - rather it's more of a comfortable truce of mutual respect. While you do get your pockets of racism here and there, it's seldom something that becomes an impediment in every day life.

In that spirit then, here are a few juicy insights from my new home:

• Brown people are generally the most racist of the lot.
• Romanians are the new Indians. They're everywhere. There is no escape.
• Contrary to my prior beliefs, women do cut your hair better. You can't discuss politics on the chair though.
• British girls - generally not very hot.. generally not very aware of that fact.
• British guys can actually be fun. Except when they drink. They drink a lot.
• British-born Pakistanis. Steer clear of them. 'nuff said.
• Indians here all have affected accents. All of them.
• The only thing worse than 'Cheers!' and 'mate!' is 'Cheers, mate!'
• Where are all the Chinese people?
• People admit to liking pop music.
• More people know the color of the outfit Paris Hilton wore to the club last night, than the name of their neighbour.
• The classiness of a club is inversely proportional to the number of Aussies present.
• Turkish people are nicer in Turkey than in London.

There. I think I've p****d off most people I know.

Lovin' the diversity.

(fun fact: I accidently posted that on the mail nomadlife page by mistake! EEK!)

The Universe And I

I recently engaged in a rather insightful exercise with a small subset of my real close friends. These guys are part of an elite (!) group of people that I would imagine know me quite well.

Q. Where do you see me in 10 yrs?

After brushing aside the initial feelings that it might be a joke, they were all kind enough to indulge - Here's a subset:

"I see you back in Pakistan making a different to that society..."

"I think u will have your own business..something different..but not a non-profit..."

"You will be working as a VP in some multinational evil corporation..."

"I see you working in some high flying organization in dubai..having a place with a flamingo pink sports car..." 

"You've built ur own company with a coupla other crazy dudes involved in lotsa different initiatives..."

"So i see you all cool and professional in the corporate world doing cool stuff, supporting lots of cool organizations.. giving motivational speeches..."

"i see you heading up a kick ass company that makes wicked money but is also helping to build capacity in pakistan so ur not making soap and plastic shit..."

"working for your own company in Pakistan, being involved in some good international projects together with your friends from all overthe world.. projects meant to bring peace..."

"I see you in south africa selling coal..."

Save for my last friend (lol!), everyone has similar thoughts about what my future holds. There's a variety if 'impact' elements, but everyone seems rather united in seeing it done through a particular path.. 

The shock really starts to kick in on the personal side of things - 

"I think you'll have a girlfriend so you're not necessarily married. And she's not Pakistani..."

"you would be married to a rather desi girl with one kid (AAAAAAAAA!!!!!!!!!!! =p)"

"happily married to a girl with "model" like features who your ami jee will select ! and ull be a content man..."

"freshly married :)" 

"I would put my guess (on you being married) at somewhere around 30-31. i think u will make a decent husband but you will make an awesome father."

"with a f****** hot wife :)" 

"you'll marry at 31 to a girl whose half pathani and half iranian...will have 2 kids...boy and a girl..."

Marriage? Kids? Really, guys?

The entire exercise has me rather confused. The confidence my friends have in me is rather fear-inducing. However, my future appears to hold no real surprises. Nothing unpredictable. Certainly, nothing outside-the-box.

Answers to that question open up counterless others.

Why Blog Now..

I haven't written in many months. Was looking to reinvent this space in light of a very new and different life I'm leading. Many good things are happening in that life..

I'm drowned in indescribable hate at this moment for coming back and writing about all the things that I wished to never have to discuss.

Today was especially dark.. too close, too personal. I live less than 10 minutes away from the location at which the incident took place: Liberty square - the heart of modern Lahore, a place seldom affected by the chaos that you read about in the papers every day in relation to Pakistan.

There's also a deep sense of embarrassment stemming from the fact that those that were targeted were the one's that came to play cricket in a country everyone else had refused to do so. Cricket is the lifeline of a Pakistani. We don't have a Bollywood or a crazy happening night life, but Cricket is what we live for, every day. Every child in Pakistan grows up dreaming of becoming Imran Khan, and that single moment captured on camera when he lifted the crystal World Cup trophy is by far the most inspiration moment in the country's 62 years of history.





And the events of today have effectively signed the death certificate for the only thing that is a source of passion and hope to a Pakistani.

Further shame and fury stems from the aftermath. As always, everyone, led by the media has begun the process of blaming India, American Drones, India, Tamil Tigers, Taleban, India, Nawaz Sharif and India, the government, ISI, the army, the chimpanzees, the colour blue, and India. Why is the press calling it 'Our Mumbai'? It's not. It's my Lahore - and I'm having a pretty damn rough time dealing with this!

Can we not for once stop absolving ourselves in this convenient manner. We need to be spending every living moment kicking our own behinds for our complacency and apathy. Take some responsibility! And for God's sake, stop asking God for help! Take SOME responsibility!

End Of An Era - Initial Reactions

As someone that has spent their teen years watching a Pakistan under Musharraf, this is the only era of Pakistan that I know from experience. All else that I know of my country comes from either a reading of history or speaking with those older than me.

While today appears to reflect in some manner the series of events that led to a similar resignation of Ayub Khan almost 40 years ago, for me this experience was very new, and it leaves me with many thoughts, emotions and concerns.

This post is no attempt to sum up the last 9 years, to analyze his successes or failures - political, economic or social, or a glorification of the Musharraf era or otherwise. It is a mere exercise in thinking aloud and reflecting on recent history and the future of this country.

Musharraf resigning - with English translation

Sitting at the student lounge at LUMS, I saw the small crowd erupt in an applause the moment the words (I translate), ".. in light of this, I am resigning from my post", were spoken by the now former President Musharraf.

Almost 9 years ago, I had rejoiced in a similar manner seeing him oust Nawaz Sharif in a military-led coup. For years after that, I was a vehement supporter of the man and his policies, calling him a benevolent leader. I did buy into his charisma and the straightforward manner of his expression. I did appreciate the skill and confidence with which he carried the flag of the country internationally. I liked the easing relationship with India and I appreciated the moderate views he brought with him to office. My single bone to pick with him (big bone, that!) was the fact that he was an unelected military person, and for that, I opposed him in principle, while I did speak about voting for him, should he contest a direct national election.

However, over the past year, I was the same person who had to switch sides due to Musharraf's actions on the judiciary and the state of emergency. I marched along the civil society, chanting 'Time to Go, Musharraf!', and I wore a black armband to register my silent protest, wherever I went and I protested the loss of civil liberties that are at the foundation of the social development of any nation.

The country is bigger than one man, be it ANY man.

So what does the future hold?

He's probably going to remain in Pakistan. I don't see Musharraf being prosecuted as he has probably bargained his immunity in return for a resigning and preventing a lengthy and intense impeachment process. But it is now that the political focus will shift to the differences between the coalition parties PPP and PML-N. There will be massive horse-trading for the decision of who will succeed Musharraf and there is bound to be friction on other issues such as the restoration of the judiciary, the state of the economy, the War on Terror and so on..

In any case, I am terribly concerned to the point of fear for the upheaval that lies ahead. I dread a Pakistan ruled by Zardari. Just like every other Pakistani, I truly do. But that may in fact be the price we have to pay to move ahead in the hope for democracy and the institutional development that is bound to come after this period of strife. Let me reiterate: It is GOOD to see the end of an era led by an unelected man. It is GOOD to see the remnants of military rule disappear for now. Musharraf, for all his true intentions, was the embodiment of both. It is GOOD to see hope return.

Coming back into my classy little financial sector office, I reflect on the events of today while staring blankly at the stock market's graph for today. I guess popular sentiment wins the day.

The Karachi Stock Exchange - 100 Index for today

There IS this one thing, though. I do hope to one day sit with Mr Musharraf and really talk about what was it that drove him through his term and what specifically was the thought process behind the events that took place in his last year. I hope to someday understand.

Primal Instincts

Today's been one of those days you get up in the morning, and with a smile on your face you try to exude positive energy for the day. And then.. the universe begins to conspire against you. To test your resolve towards that positive energy. And you fail!

You go to get your car thats lying with the workshop. It's not fixed.

Fight or Flight?

Flight. You ask the guy to make a temporary fix so you can use it for a few hours.

You're driving to your next stop when standing at a traffic signal, a motorbike zooms by, hitting your sideview mirror. It's intact. You look at the biker who doesn't appear the least bit apologetic.

Fight or Flight?

Flight. You smile and let it go. You still wanna save this day.

You begin the pursuit of a 'Passport protector' - a ridiculous, pointless, mindnumbing, expensive, time consuming process that a Pakistani has to engage in when they are planning to start work internationally. Long story short, this was your 4th visit to that office and you had finally gotten all the documents and their exact number of photocopies and the bank receipts to submit your application. They tell you that your passport shall be returned to you in a few hours and that you had to sit for a compulsory 'Living outside Pakistan' briefing.. Sigh..

So you go for the briefing which is a gruelling two hours of bullshit, about how you must be a responsible Pakistani, respect the law, pray 5 times, live in the religiously 'correct' manner (that was how the speaker described not sleepin around so you don't contract AIDS! Funny that this guy was still so uncomfortable with talking about it given he does the EVERY day for the last 15 years. Oh well!). You thank your lucky stars for being tech savvy and begin chatting randomly on Gtalk on your cell phone via eBuddy. Then there is a voice coming from an untidy, extremely corrupt looking official, 'Come get your passports now!'. The expected hoard of people begin throwing fists at each other in an effort to get ahead. You decide that you're better than this and you will wait for the nonsense to be over before you get yours. Funnily, yours is the first name thats called so you have to make your way through the mess of living breathing flesh that is between you and the window where your passport is being held hostage. You finally make it there, getting jabbed and pummeled by a few people on the way and stand there waiting for instructions. The grumby dimwit on the window tells you to stop wasting everyone's time, and you're like 'Woah?', still waiting for him to peacefully hand over your documents. He gives you a dirty look grabs your passport and throws it at your face.

Fight or Flight?

Flight. Swearing under your breath you take your green booklet and walk off.

Next stop's a photo studio. You want to print your some pictures of close friends to take with you. You go in and hand over your flash disk. The guy, who looks like he had been having domestic issues looks at you and says, 'No'. 'No?', you ask. 'No!', he reiterates.

Fight or Flight?

Flight. You take your flash disk back and walk back to your car.

Driving carefully, you look for a parking space in a congested market. You find one. You smile. You're patiently waiting for the exiting vehicle to peacefully be able to leave so you can replace yours in that space. Waiting. Waiting. BANG! You look at your rear view mirror and you see some random striker has decided to hit your car. You get out, still trying to keep your composure to expect the damage. You look at the person in the car and it's a gray haired old man with a family. You smile and you say, 'Please be careful, Sir. You could hurt someone.' You've been brought up to respect gray haired dudes as a general rule. Of course, it doesn't work vice versa. He starts screaming at you for having stopped like that. You continue to be polite and tell him to walk away without incident even though its his fault. He curses at you loudly.

Fight or Flight? Fight! You blow your lid. Within a matter of moments you transform from the cool headed, sweet talking, respectful young man, to a street style, pissed off, flustered, growling, visibily furious person. You are ready to bash his head into the pavement for swearing at you when you were being so polite and when it was his fault. His family hold him back as he makes a symbolic attempt to come out of the car and lock horns with you. You're ready! His eyes give him away. He isn't. You let him walk away.

You park at your prized spot, and go into the departmental store to pick up a new perfume. The guy at the counter is no eager beaver. You ask him if he has the brand you want. You can see it behind him on the shelf. He looks around, and says he doesn't. You point it out. He says, 'No'. 'No?', you ask? 'No!', he reiterates.

Fight or Flight?

Flight. You're done dealing with these morons. You'll come back another day.

On your way home of course, a car decides to come outta nowhere head-on on the wrong side of the road. You swirl outta it's way just in time and it clips your side view mirror. It shatters into a million pieces, as glass flies directly towards your face. Thanks to your sunglasses, you can still see as you type this post.

You're now going to go hide under a quilt and wait for this day to pass without further event. Good luck to you!

Truly Tragic

My Nokia N70 decided a couple of days ago to stop notifying me when I would get new messages or missed calls. You have NO idea how annoying that can be.

96 hours of software updates and reading every forum out there, all I could find was that there were others with the same problem and no known fixes existed! Sigh.. After trial and error, I figured the only way to fix this was to delete ALL my text messages. Now I feel like a year of my history has been erased - 2800+ msgs..

This sucks more than anything that has ever sucked before!

Theory Time

Chain of events that might be possible in the next few weeks:

1. Musharraf's impeachment begins
2. Musharraf restores judges, NRO potentially gets thrown out
3. Impeachment fails
4. Musharraf used the constitutional clause to dissolve parliament (saying I gave them a chance but they ruined the country)
5. Musharraf resigns taking a moral high ground making (4) look selfless
6. Caretaker government formed. Military plays a role in constituting it.
7. Caretaker government files a petition with the Supreme Court to not have re-elections in 90 days since the political atmosphere does not allow for elections.
8. Caretaker government spends 1-3 years in office, being run behind the curtains by the military.
9. Stability returns
10. Possible chance of assassination attempts on Nawaz/Shahbaz or Nawaz getting back in power as he has a clear victory in this chapter

Word has it that Benazir's son, Bilawal, who is co-Chairman of the PPP has refused to sign a power of attorney to Zardari saying, 'Mama said no!'. Her daughter recently tried to commit suicide and the kids are all against him. Breakup of the PPP is a potential outcome.

Of course certain things such as the Taleban situation, relations with India, etc. still remain in the open..

This I-day, I pray for my country..!